Damn, that was unexpected

Kind of had a weird moment tonight. A little past midnight I tried to fight off the sleep by taking a no-doze, turning on the ipod and dancing around the apt until my eyes were open. I was all good until I heard Limp Bizkit/Method Man song "N Together Now". I was stoked to hear because it has particular meaning for me. The song takes me back to when I had just turned 16 and was participating in a national moot court competition. The first day that our team had to go to the courthouse and put on the trial in front of a real life judge in a real life courtroom, I was driving to the Santa Ana Courthouse with my mom and my BFF Chuki listening to that song on repeat for the whole drive for motivation and adrenaline. (Much to the dismay of my mom since it was the first time she had been in the car with me when I was on the freeway) Anyways, I was happily listening to the song tonight until all of a sudden the tears started flowing. I'm talking about the cry your eyes out, sink to the floor, sob out loud kind of cry.

I just started to think about the excitement and hope that I had going in to that competition. I realized then, as I had walked into the courtroom, wearing a suit and holding my opening statement that court was where I belonged. It suited me perfectly. It was my nirvana.

Little did I know that most lawyers spend their career chained to a desk and never step foot inside of a courtroom. To me, that's just not law. It's not what I went to law school to do. Somewhere along the line, I need to make an impact in the world, and being behind a desk all day just isn't going to cut it for me. The tears came tonight as a mix of still wanting the dream so bad and at the same time being so disillusioned with it. But at least now, I know that every time I hear that song, and those lyrics, I will be taken back to the moment where I realized my destiny.

N'Together Now:

"I'm pluggin' in them social skills
That keep my total bills over a million
The last time I checked it
Thank God I'm blessed with a mind that'll wreck it
Wait until the second round and knock em' out.....

Whats that, I didn't hear you (Shut the fuck up)
Come on, a little louder (Shut the fuck up)
Everybody in together now (Shut the fuck up)
What huh (Shut the fuck up)
Oh (Shut the fuck up)....

Headstrong, dead calm, get it right on
Dead weight to dead wrong, let's get it on
Twelve rounds I throw down, who hold crown....

Lifestyles of the prolific and gifted
8 essential vitamins and minerals delicious
Word on the street is, they bit my thesis
Knocked out they front teefers, tryin to taste mine
Actin like they heard it through the grapevine....

You gettin' one shot (Ha)
Until you dissolve
I revolve
Around everything you got
From outta nowhere
Prepare
You be blinded by the glare
I told you not to stare
Now you're turned into stone
Without a microphone
But don't you forget you're in a zone (So shut the fuck up)
And take that shit back
Cause all your shits wack (Doo doo is doo doo)
When its weighed out like that
Burnin' up your brain like a piston
So all those that didn't listen
Now they even knew what they were missin'
And never even knew that the sky was fallin' down"