This last week I've been a little emotional. Not for any particular reason, but I guess I'm just stressed and a little vulnerable. I've been getting teary at everything for no apparent reason.

It's hard to be broke and watch your credit that you spent so many years building up crashing around you and trying to figure out exactly how to make ends meet without having to borrow anymore money from anybody.

It's hard to think about the fact that your immediate future and perhaps even your longterm future is resting on a 3 day exam. It's not like anything else. It's pure hell and there is nothing triumphant or joyous about it. I don't think people who haven't been through it understand it, even people who are in other levels of higher education. I had a professor in college who was a JD/MD and said that by far the bar exam (and law school) were much harder than med school and all that came with it.

It's hard when no one understands the exhaustion and frustration. It's a unique pain that's all your own and even when thousands of other people go through it a year, everyone goes through it in an individual and painful way.

::Sigh:: I guess it's just hard to go through and time is ticking way too fast and I am SO not ready. The days keep going faster and faster and the learning gets harder and harder. It's not the struggle that makes it hard, we all work hard for things and fail or win, it's the pressure of knowing your economic livelihood depends on it, not to mention your reputation and self-esteem.

And the notion that I can do it and it will be over soon does not give me solace. And people telling me it will be ok does not give me any comfort.

Speaking of failure, check this out:



And if anyone knows anyone who has a copy of the documentary or can find a copy of "A lawyer walks into a bar", please let me know! Here was all I found online: